PW Design and Co

I am celebrating my third Mother’s Day! 

However, I am celebrating another Mother’s Day without my mom. And I know what you are thinking, “I am so sorry for your loss”. Well I can tell you that’s not necessary because she is still alive. My mother and I are estranged.

Being estranged from a maternal figure is a pain I do not wish on anyone. We will always want our moms. But what if the mom we want and need is not our reality? 

So many of my friends have beautiful relationships with their mothers or have had the painful experience of losing their mother. But what happens when your mother is alive but the two of you are unable to have the relationship you both want?

Estrangement is not something that happens overnight and it’s not a decision that is made lightly. One of the hardest things was becoming a mother and not having my mom to lean on. And it still hurts. But I have to remind myself that the relationship I so crave to have is just a fantasy. The reality is very different and we have tried many times to reconcile or reconnect, but neither party has felt good about the relationship. So here we are celebrating yet another Mother’s Day without each other. 

If you find yourself in this situation, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions on Mother’s Day.

First and foremost, it’s important to recognize that estrangement from a parent is often a difficult and painful experience. It can be filled with feelings of guilt, sadness, anger, and confusion. It’s okay to acknowledge these emotions and give yourself permission to feel them. It’s also important to remember that you are not alone in this experience. Many people have complicated relationships with their parents, and it’s okay to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed.

On Mother’s Day, it’s okay to celebrate in a way that feels meaningful to you. If you feel comfortable, you can celebrate the other maternal figures in your life, such as grandmothers, aunts, or friends who have acted as mother figures. You can also take the day to practice self-care and reflect on the ways in which you have grown and thrived despite the challenges you have faced.

If you feel up to it, you can also use Mother’s Day as an opportunity to reflect on your relationship with your mother and consider whether there is a possibility for reconciliation or healing in the future. This may involve setting boundaries, seeking therapy, or having difficult conversations. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what is best for your mental and emotional well-being.

No matter how you choose to spend Mother’s Day, it’s important to remember that your worth is not dependent on your relationship with your mother. You are a valuable and deserving person, regardless of the circumstances of your birth. Take this day to honor yourself and the strength it takes to navigate complex family dynamics. And remember, it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions on Mother’s Day – your feelings are valid and deserving of acknowledgment.